Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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