I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
where does the pee come out of this thing
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
