Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
