Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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