Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize