yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
