I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I think weed is turning my hair brown
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
