You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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