yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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