Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
