wanna go halves on a baby?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
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