I'm going to jail i love you
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
