making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
