Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize