My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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