Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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