Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
