I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Randomize