Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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