Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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