I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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