too bad you live with your parents still
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
