I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize