i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I don't deserve a penis
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
