he shaved USA in his pubs
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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