She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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