I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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