You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
