This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
