yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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