Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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