I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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