i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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