there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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