Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
