went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize