can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
