some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
