How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
