mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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