I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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