Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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