PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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