If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
