maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize