if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
We don't watch enough power rangers
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
