Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
