She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
