I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
