Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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