Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
