Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
