You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
farters have to be the big spoon...
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
