We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
