Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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