So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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