I wannas sexs uuuuu
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
You are a booty call, not a friend.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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