so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
she told me i tasted like america
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
