During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
We talked him into tasing himself.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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