You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
