If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize