fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
