i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
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