I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
They took my balls.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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