If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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