his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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