I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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