He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
