i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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