OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
