I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
