Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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