I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
